How To Raise An American

Dinner Table Debate: When Do You Feel Most American ?

A couple years ago, the radio show Morning Edition asked its listeners to describe when they “felt most American.”.  One listener said it was when she rode the New York City subway, seeing the “melting pot” of America. Another said it was when she watched the one-block-long bike parade to celebrate Flag Day in her Illinois home town, a place so small it doesn’t even have a real main street.  What about your family?  What makes them feel American? 

Is it when they learn about a past American achievement?
When they read about the courage of our military? 
Maybe it’s a patriotic holiday that brings out their American spirit? 
Or when your teenage daughter  hits the shopping mall,  does she make a connection between the endless shelves filled with products and America’s unrivaled economic system?   

Then ask them: Do they think it is important to feel American?
Do most of their friends “feel American"?
Even ask them what makes them feel “un-American.”  You may be surprised by their answers.  They might be, too.

Dinner Table Debate: Is This a Great Contry or What?

Here’s another family debate that should get them talking and thinking.    You can start things along by throwing out words that others have used to describe Americans ---some good and some not so good:

Freedom-loving     Materialistic
Idealistic                   Arrogant
Hard-working          Aggressive
Independent            Unsophisticated
Traditional               Rebellious

Which words do they think best describe us?   If they could only describe America with three words, what would they be?
You can also ask them during this discussion:
• Do they think America is still a special place?
• Do immigrants have more or less opportunities than they once had?

Many of our enemies abroad say America is a force for evil in the world. And some here at home, seem to agree.
• But then why are millions of people still trying so hard to come here?
• Isn’t this a contradiction? What do they think? 

Dinner Table Debate: Family Core Values

Each branch of the military has core values that they believe in.   What are your family core values?  Talking about them may be one of the most important discussions  you can  have.   For some faith and family are the most important. For others working hard, being successful or helping others are the most important.
• So ask what are your family core values? Can you list three or four?
• How are they reflected in your actions every day?
• Does everyone agree on the family’s core values or do they see things very differently?
• Is being patriotic a core value to your family?
• Ask everyone to share their favorite family tradition.  How do they relate to your core values?  Do your family traditions help encourage patriotism?

Dinner Table Debates: Free Speech Isn’t Always Free

Unlike in  many countries, America’s guarantee of freedom of speech protects the media – entertainment and news – from nearly all government censorship or interference.  But what happens when the media uses its power irresponsibly – for example, when it constantly portrays America in a negative light or  puts “getting the scoop” ahead of national security.  Begin the discussion by reading the First Amendment   Then get to the heart of the matter with these questions:
• What do you think the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the First Amendment?  Did they believe there should never be any censorship of the press under any circumstances?
• Do you think the government has a right to place limits on free speech?  And if so when?  What about crying  "Fire!"  without cause in a  crowded theater or exposing top secret national security programs?
• Does free speech mean you can say anything you want in music, like profanity, for example?  Does it mean a movie can show any kind of violence or sexual behavior without restrictions?
• How would they ensure that media is free but responsible in its actions?

Dinner Table Debates: To Serve or Not to Serve...

In Israel, every young man and woman is required to provide one year of service to their country.   Many here in this country argue that our children, for whom service is strictly voluntary, ought to give a year to their country as well.  What does your family think?

• Ask them how they would feel about spending their first year out of high school serving America rather than going to college or to work?
• Do they think a universal service “draft” is right or wrong, constitutional or not?
• What kind of service should be allowed?  How would they choose to serve -- in the military or in some other kind of service like Freedom Corps?
•  Do they think  a year experiencing the  real world before going to college would   better prepare young people for the rigors and responsibility of academic life—and help them grow up?

Once a week during a family dinner, have an All-American  discussion.   Let everyone chime in.   Debating, even arguing, is okay.   Hey, it’s the American way.   And even though the kids may roll their eyes at first, we bet they will begin to look forward to this weekly chance to get together and  hear what everyone has to say.    Especially, if you always serve a special dessert!